Hey, hey, hey.. today I’m doing a deep-dive into what’s been happening in my life so far in 2019. If you didn’t know, me and my fiancé moved to Raleigh, North Carolina from the DC area at the end of 2018. We are both from the Virginia suburbs up there and wanted to make a change. One of the biggest motivating factors for me was being able to afford the life I have always envisoned for myself (and now us as a family). The Washington metro area is notoroiusly expensive and full of high-earners. Although I had a job and career path that truly fulfilled me, I didn’t see an opportunity to own a home where I wanted to live and potentially be able to be as hands-on of a mom that I want to be down the road.
By moving to Raleigh I was essentially giving up my career path in the Federal contracting field that I was completely passionate about. I had a perfect sightline into my future and knew exactly what I could expect for myself. I was making good money but not good enough for the area. In Raleigh, I started out unemployed as I tried to make my way into a new industry: digital marketing. I’m equally as excited about this new field but, as a period of unemployment will do to you, I am nervous that I’m making the wrong decision. Most recently I even considered moving back north but after a deep discussion remembered that we moved here for a reason and I had to find a way to push through.
I started a new job at a fantastic company but in a role that I feel I am overqualified for and am being underpaid for. This is a lesson in humility that I partially expected but not as intensely as it has been served to me. I feel nobody sees my value and that the incredible experience I built in DC over the past three years means nothing. The only thing I have to rely on is my dream down the road of owning a home, starting a family and living a more balanced life away from the craziness back ‘home’.
It is going to be a rocky road for a bit as I won’t be able to save for a home on my new salary and will be digging myself out of the debt that I have accumulated whilst being out of work but I am sincerely hoping that in a few years I will look back on my present situation and feel grateful that I didn’t give up. The sacrifice of giving up on my dream career in order to live out my other dreams in life has been a prickly pain in my heart this year– I guess I can’t go anywhere but up at this point.
I am thankful for the friends we have made in Raleigh in such a short amount of time and I am so, so excited to celebrate our marriage down here next year. When we moved I told everybody, myself included, that I was embracing Carolina as home. I never questioned it until a few weeks ago when the going got really, really tough. I believe all I need to do to get by is to get back to that mindset that this is home now. Once I embrace it again I think everything will get a little bit easier every day.
I used to love that quote “if your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough” but now I have a bit of disdain for it because I am terrified right now and hearing that doesn’t make me feel better. But again– I think in hindsight, this era of my life will shine much brigher than it currently is.
That’s what has been happening with me. I hope to one day be able to take Bailey Bee full-time and THAT is my true dream in my new life. Until then, you can catch me plugging away at my new 8-to-5.